Staples

Once I was home....and getting used to my "new to me" surroundings.  I struggled everyday with the little things like....dressing myself, showers, walking, talking, trying to make sense of everything that was going on with me?    Greta(my lifeline) put her own life on the back burner, and for that I know I can never repay her for what she has done for me and my Family.  I LOVE you my Sissy!   About a week after being released from the hospital, I had a Doctor appointment/check-up with my Neurosurgeon, Dr. Gustalvo.  At this appointment before seeing the Doctor his assistant Donna entered the room with some-sort of contraption in her hand.  Pulled up a stool right in front of me(face to face pretty much) and started removing the staples from my head(if you remember the picture posted in my last blog....the staples went down the right side of my hairline).  What I remember of this is.....NOTHING!  but, I'm told I sat there & took it like a champ!  It was not until Dr. Gustalvo was examining me, talking with me that he informed me...."Heidi, your doing great!  but, your battle is not over"!  Fore he told me AGAIN(short-term memory, I completely forgot)!  that there are 3 more possible aneurysms in my head and he wanted to send me to John Hopkins to a Neuro Specialist.  This news like I said....was like hearing it for the first time again...and I remember being scared to death of death still lingering around me, & how I just could not make any sense out of it...at all.  Soooooo I think I cried?  & to comfort myself...I got DRUNK &.mind you I was still smoking(like an idiot).  This sort of idiotness went on until I met my new Neurologist Doctor Huang from John Hopkins.  Where she would take my case, only if.....I QUIT smoking.. NOW!  because if I would of continued....most likely I would've been dead before the next procedure.  You see they wanted to wait 6 months after the first surgery to give my brain time to heal.
THIS WAS ALL IT TOOK.........for me to begin  my "new battle with beer & cigarettes.  Doctor  Huang told us..."there is a chemical in the nicotine that wears on the veins, thins them which in turn allows them to burst".  WOW!!!!  super scary shit????  right?
Anywhoo, let the battle begin!  First just let me say.....I have the BEST Family in the whole entire world, because they dealt with me at my UGLIEST, and I don't mean looking?  I mean....I was strait up HORRIBLE, manipulative, evil, sneaky.  (FUNNY STORY!!...I was w/Greta at LGH waiting in the car for her to return a walker or something, and I.....escaped to Smiley's on Duke, by foot w/the assistance of my walker to purchase myself some cigarettes.  Now let's think about this....my head was still bandaged up, hair a wreck, HEAVILY medicated, what a sight to see?  For the record...I only remember bits & pieces of this and  eventually I'm escorted back to my Ever Loving Sissy by one of LCP's finest).  YEAH, this is what they were dealing with.

6 MONTHS LATER....
I did it, I QUIT!!!!  both of them, YAY ME!

Now, I am cleared and good to go for the next procedure.  Which was a piece of cake compared to the first one!  This one they went up through my groin and clipped those 2 suckers before they decided to hurt me. I made it, I beat it, I rock.

Thank you for reading, and for letting me get my story out!

Much Love, Heidi

April 23rd, 2010 started out as a normal Friday, YAY, Friday!!!!!  Looking ahead to a fun night with my girls Lisa & Kerri Lee to blow off steam/get drunk & vent about anything & everything that came to mind.  Never thinking this would be the last night for this sort of activity for me?  I don't remember complaining or having a headache that day . After work I remember going to Funks to purchase my tomatoes to plant for the season and picking up my Tristin from his career day.  At home I planted my mini garden(at the time) and prepared myself for a full night of drinking, smoking...oh yeah good time!  As the night progressed & I got stupider, and stupider with every Miller Lite I threw back.  Probably on my 7th or 8th beer..."Matty Downer" came pounding at the door, because apparently I was in a middle of a fight with "What's his Face" and he runs home to tell on me?  Now, I'm DRUNK!  We go home, and now this is where I remember nothing...... supposedly were having a full fledged conversation back & forth, with me sitting indian style on the living room couch, Matt gets up to go to he kitchen still talking to me.....with me not answering or acknowledging him, he gets louder( loud enough to make Ian run down to see why his Dad is screaming at me to answer him).  I'm OUT..... slopped over like I'm passed out or something?   Right away "My Love" realizes something as very, very wrong and calls 911.  Now, remember this is all going down in front of my boys....like a car wreck that you realize it's way too late to cover your eyes.  Lisa, Kerri Lee came running over and my Ian ran down the street to get our neighbor/friend Nancy she's a nurse. By now my house is filled  with concerned family, friends, neighbors, police, and EMT's.   They rush me off to the Hospital, later I was told I died on the way, and they brought me back in the ER(thank you!).  After examining me the Doctors realized I had a ruptured aneurysm, and I needed brain surgery ASAP. They scheduled the surgery for Monday AM.  Now, I don't remember much from these days except for watching "Mystic Pizza", kinda? and waking up with visions/dreams what have you???  of my Grandma telling me to "WAKE UP!!"  She was with me by my side the whole entire time.  I ran into one of my night nurses a few month's later and she told me.....one night she walked into my room, checking on me and she asked...."Heidi, who's this with you???"  I sat up, patted the mattress beside me and said..."this is my GRANDMA".  The nurse of course did not see her, she was talking about my Husband, or Sister whom atleast one of them was with me every single night just in case I woke up & forgot where I was(short term memory).
The picture shown is sometime after the surgery, where basically I had to learn everything all over again kinda? I maybe little...but, I'm a strong, thick headed little BITCH! I was released from the Hospital on Saturday, March 1st,  2010 and have been on the road to a......Better way of Life ever since.
I have much, much more to say.....I have made myself just a little verklempt right now, please talk amongst yourselves.
Thanks, Heidi